Why is it so hard for me to trust God?
It doesn't help that since I started reading blogs about two years ago, I've come across tons of women with seriously stunning homes. Most of them have husbands with nice cushy jobs, and they can afford to pop out to any store they want, and anything they desire financially is at their disposal.
Me on the other hand? I always say it's lucky I like yard sales, because everything in our house is from one.
I swear that God brings our money situation "low" again every so often, just so He makes sure that we're "forced" to trust Him. He knows that as soon as things are good and the money is coming in steadily, it is so easy for me to forget all about Him in that area. I trust in the job, not in God. And that's so wrong.
It's been very easy for me to sit over here on my laptop and be very, very envious of the women with perfect houses. Perfect kitchens, perfect bathrooms, all the time and money in the world to go do any craft or home improvement they desire. And that needs to stop. I have been feeling the Holy Spirit's nudging of me lately, prodding me to realize how unhealthy that is.
Fact is, this is my life. We are where we are right now, and I know God is teaching me useful skills. Chris and I have been forced to examine areas that were non-essentials, and think outside the box when it comes to making and spending money. I'm thankful for different friends that have shared some great ideas with us.
Hopefully, Chris will have his business fully running in the next several years. He will be self-employed and money will not be such a constant worry. I know there are so. many. lessons I have learned from trusting God with money that never would have come my way if we'd had nice fat paychecks all along.
I'm still going to keep reading those blogs. Many of those women are so creative and I get wonderful ideas, both for our house now and in the future. But it is a very American notion to equate money with blessing - and it is something I have to keep reminding myself over and over not to do. God has blessed us with every spiritual blessing (Eph. 1:3), and money is listed nowhere in that verse.
With all my heart I want to be a woman that trusts God with everything she has. I'm learning, but I certainly have a long road ahead of me!
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ...