My Little Reason for Not Blogging Much Lately…

Unfortunately for my blog, napping, sleeping, thinking about how to get more sleep (lol) and searching pregnancy-related websites has been taking up a lot of my time lately.  :)

If you’ve been here for a while, you know that we had been trying to adopt – and that we had JUST gotten licensed on May 4th after completing months of paperwork, home visits, and classes.  Our file has been put on hold and we are allowed to be put back on the list when our baby is a year old. 

So yes, it was definitely the shock of our lives to find out on May 30th that I was pregnant.  I’ll be honest and say that I cried that night – it was a very surreal and almost out-of-body experience to realize that I was pregnant again and would have to go through it all again.  I’ve never ever ever been someone who enjoyed – or even pretended to enjoy – being pregnant.  I still don’t like it and honestly I’m still dreading it (and especially the delivery).  I had a really scary time at the end with Luke and I was pretty depressed for a while over how everything played out.  But overall, I am THRILLED to be getting another baby to love!  We have been wanting to add to our family for such a long time and I feel so blessed that we have a child coming to us in less than 7 months. It is nice to have the power of information and past experience on my side this time!

Speaking of, I’m due January 31st!  1-31-13 is a pretty cool due date, don’t you think?!  (That makes me 10 weeks and 1 day today.)  Since I’ll be having a repeat c-section (the doctor thinks that’s the best choice in my situation, and I agree), this baby’s birthday will actually probably be something closer to January 25th.  Either way, it can’t get here fast enough!!

Overall this pregnancy so far has been much easier for me with Luke as far as morning sickness goes.  I do get nauseated several times a day but I haven’t thrown up once (thank God!!).  Last night I took my vitamins earlier than usual and I felt great when I woke up this morning, so I think that’s a big factor.  Other than that I have all the usual symptoms! 

I do hope to be more regular about blogging…I promise!  But at least now you’ll have a reason for my absence if it happens again. :)

What I’ve Been Up to the Past Month {And Announcing an Upcoming “Series”}

Holy cow.  My last blog post was April 24th!!!  My BFF actually sent me a Facebook message yesterday asking, “Did your blog die?”  haha

Nope, she’s still here….just went on hiatus. 

I know I can’t be the only person out there who starts to sit down at the computer to write a post….but then gets so overwhelmed with all the catching up that needs to be written out that you just end up reading other people’s blogs instead of updating your own.  Anyone? 

So without further adieu….let me sum up my past month as concisely as I can!

My last post mentioned that I was traveling to Florida with my parents. 

We had an amazing time and we got to do some really fun things…..like my first EVER visit to Hobby Lobby (I’m totally in love with that place!  Consider yourself lucky if you live near one because we don’t have any up here in New England!)

 

We also went to Disney World! (Epcot and Downtown Disney)

 

I also got the pleasure of finally trying out CHICK-FIL-A!  It was delish. 

 

I started freaking out with happiness because we ended up eating at Mimi’s Café one night for dinner and I‘ve heard Kelly talk about that restaurant for years and years on her blog!  I was a little disappointed that I wasn’t able to get poppy-seed dressing and chicken salad for the full-on Kelly experience but I did get a delicious salad that came with a chocolate muffin on the side!  Have you ever heard of such a thing?  I feel like that menu was Paula Deen-approved.  haha (Not that I’m complaining – that muffin was awesome!)

 

On a completely different note, on May 4th we got the GREAT news that we are licensed to adopt!  Now we wait for the right match for us.  Super exciting time! :)

Last Sunday  was Mother’s Day and I had a GREAT day with my two favorite men.  We moved Luke into the big boy bed the night before Mother’s Day, and the poor thing was up 4 times that night crying (I think he was disoriented, plus we cut him off from the paci so he didn’t have that to soothe himself, either).  Needless to say, we mutually decided at 4:00 am that we were not going to church! haha My amazing husband let me sleep in til after 9 (it was pure bliss) and then we hopped in the car to go to Chipotle (our mutual favorite). 

      

We also stopped at a beautiful nursery to pick up some flowers and plants for the garden.  Luke had a great time checking out the animals. 

On the way home we stopped to get my favorite ice cream (Almond Joy!) from one of the only places around here that serves it.  Super yummy. :)

 

Luke is still getting services every week for his “issues” (he has a speech teacher, an OT, and an early childhood teacher come to the house to work with him).  His speech is improving and he is starting to make more sentences.  He has also gotten a LOT better at pronouncing “l” in the beginning of a word (so now he says “look” and “lion” instead of “yook and “nion.”)  His latest thing is “Mommy hold you” when he wants me to pick him up.  It just melts my heart!  (Not just because it’s cute but also because he typically never shares wants/needs so that was a big developmental step for him, too). 

On June 8th we go to a meeting to determine if he qualifies for a special preschool program at the local elementary school.  This program would be the MOST perfect fit for him so we are really praying hard that he qualifies to get in! 

Wow, okay, I think that about sums it up! 

The “series” that I mentioned in the title refers to some posts that I’ll be doing over the next two weeks that show our house progress one year later.  We bought our house exactly ONE year ago tomorrow (May 16th)!  I seriously can’t believe a whole year has passed since then!  This whole house is just such a testament to God’s faithfulness. 

Our friends and family in PA have asked about the house so I thought it would be fun to show how some of the rooms have changed (and how some have unfortunately stayed almost the same!  lol).  So check back here sometime this week if you like some good before-and-afters.  I know I do!  :)

Miscellany Monday {15}– Our Weekend

As of Saturday, we are officially “ONE AND ONE” in our adoption process! What that means is that we have ONE parenting class and ONE home visit left until we are good to go! Whoo hooo!!! (We are still waiting on our fingerprints to come back from the state but those are estimated to be ready about March 7th.)

Our social worker – who is awesome, by the way – said that he thinks we’ll be ready by mid-March. I’m saying April 1st so I don’t get my hopes up. (haha) We are SO ready to welcome another kiddo into our house!

 

 

I painted my nails yesterday.  It’s seriously ridiculous how grown-up I feel with dark nails.  hahaha! {Color is “Mink Muffs”}.  Thanks to my friend Kathy for suggesting the color and my husband for buying it for me for Christmas.  :)

 

Do you see these two pictures?  What do they have in common? 

    

Um…they should never be taken on February 13th!  Seriously…sugar ants in the bathroom (of all places!) and crocuses literally about 8 inches tall (I know, lovely landscaping – it will be improved this spring!)  It’s a crazy winter but I’m not complaining for one second. 

 

We went to Moe’s on Saturday night for dinner.   It was good but it was no Chipotle!  (I am a die-hard Chipotle lover.)  The food doesn’t taste as good and they move you along super fast and they have these glass barriers between you and the food when you order.  Except I literally had to stand on my tip-toes so they could hear me since the glass is so high and I’m pretty short.  I seriously felt like I was 8 years old.  However, they do serve grass-fed beef in their menu so to that I say, WELL DONE Moe’s!  Oh and a girl can’t complain about free chips and salsa.  :) Luke was so, so good for us which was such a blessing.  Toddler boys and restaurants don’t usually mix well.  Can I get an amen?!

 

Crazy that Valentine’s Day is tomorrow!  (Wasn't it just Christmas Eve?!)  Chris and I aren’t doing anything special since my parents are already kind enough to watch Luke once a week for us while we go to our parenting class, and we don’t want to stretch them too thin.  However, my husband did say he is getting me something “small” so of course I am looking forward to seeing what Tuesday brings!

What about you?  Do you go all out on Valentine’s Day or is it pretty low-key at your house?  I know some people hate it and some people love it so I’m curious to know.  If it was solely up to me it would be overflowing with flowers and gifts and nights out but clearly I am only one half of this relationship! haha

Happy Monday! 

 

Linking up with:

Adoption Update

Hey everybody!  Wow, this week really got away from me!  I wanted to pop on and give an adoption update, half for my own memory and half for those of you who might be interested in seeing how the process works.  I’ve also had a couple friends ask me IRL so I figured it might be best to post here! 

The adoption meeting went really well; we’re both very glad that we went.  We got to meet our social worker, Allyson, in person, as well as 3 other prospective adoptive couples and a mom who has already adopted 3 kids who was there as a real-life resource.  We got a lot of questions answered and a big info packet to take home.  We were also struck with how much more complicated this process really is than we thought!  In a nutshell, there are three main ways to adopt (at least in CT), and here they are WAY over-simplified:

- International adoption.  This is probably self-explanatory, right? It can take several years and anywhere from $20-40,000.  We have decided against this, at least for our first adoption.

- Domestic private adoption.  I had originally figured this was the only other option besides international.  You select an agency, who then finds the child/birth mom that is the best match for you.  Often the birth mom can choose your family specifically based on a “scrapbook” that you make about yourselves.  Also can cost between $20-40,000. 

- Adoption through state foster care/DCF.  This process (which we were previously unaware of), comes with a lot of perks.  The adopted child gets a free college tuition at any state school, free medical care, and the whole process is FREE.  That’s right, FREE.  The major downside is that, unlike in international or domestic private cases, when the child comes home with you, they are not legally “yours” yet.  They are still considered a foster child/ward of the state until the parent(s) have finally given up all legal rights.  For people like us, DCF would only place a child in our home that they feel is “reasonably certain” to be adoptable.  However, sometimes the birth parent(s) change their minds, in which case (obviously) the child has to go back.  Although they try to expedite this process, it can take months or even years. 

Our first home study visit with Allyson isn’t until the middle of June, after we’re all settled into our new house.  Obviously, we have a lot of thinking to do!  Do we try to raise thousands and thousands of dollars and have to be concerned about where the money will come from, but have the peace of mind of knowing that when we bring our baby home, it’s ours?  Or do we have the peace of mind in knowing that our adoption is paid for (and our child will have free college down the road!), but possibly go through the heartbreak of having a child have to leave our home? 

As you can see, it’s a reallllly hard decision.  We had both thought DCF would be best for us, but after talking to Allyson on Wednesday night on the phone and finding out the DCF route could take years, I’m not so certain anymore.  Chris keeps reminding me that God knows exactly what child is out there for us, and the road we take is insignificant to Him, really.  In other words, we are 100% sure that God wants us to adopt, so He’s going to work it out one way or the other.  I keep telling myself that, but it still stresses me out to feel that I have to make the right first choice! 

So, that’s pretty much where we’re at right now – waiting for our first home study visit and praying hard over this initial first decision.  We are still total newbies at this adoption thing and if you feel led to pray for us, we would really appreciate it!  

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!  I’m taking a few days off from the blog so I’ll see you next week! :)

And So We Begin…

We are going to adopt. 

 

We are going to adopt!!!!!

 

Wow, that feels amazing to actually type! :) I alluded to it in my last post, but only briefly mentioned it.  So, let me back-up……. 

I have known for years and years (probably since middle school) that I wanted to adopt someday.   It has always been something that excited me and I’ve just known that it was going to be part of the fabric of my life.  So when I started dating Chris, we started talking about it early on.  Not everyone can picture themselves adopting, which is fine, but anybody who married me was gonna have to be on board with it. haha Thankfully, he was totally supportive and excited as well. 

So we concocted our “perfect plan” – we would have two biological kids and adopt two kids.  Best of both worlds and it would be even-steven so that nobody would feel outnumbered.  Oh, it makes me laugh just to type that out.  You know what they say about the best laid-plans! 

I’ve shared a little bit here about how difficult Luke’s birth and recovery was on me.  Partly physically, but mostly emotionally.  I told my mom in the post-op room that I hoped she liked Luke because she wasn’t getting another one!  (Although doesn’t every new mom say that at one point?!). It was a funny story for my parents to tell their friends.  

But throughout the last two years, people have made jokes about our next baby, and how I need to “at least try for a girl” (I hate that phrase – what if I had another boy??).  Each time I would say that it wasn’t happening (nicely, of course), and I think they thought over time I would get over it and get on board with having another baby. 

Well, it’s been a year and 9 months since I had Luke, and there is still no part of me that wants to be pregnant, have another c-section, and deal with that aftermath again.  It was really scary for me when I finally realized and came to terms with the fact that those feelings of wanting to get pregnant, like I had before Luke, weren’t coming back.  It’s a huge deal to have to tell your husband you don’t think you can give him another biological child.  I was scared out of my mind.  I mean, not that Chris would ever leave me, but this is a deal-breaker for lots of people, you know?  I felt like I was falling short and letting him down and I was so scared that he was going to be devastated. 

But, thank God, he wasn’t.  He is totally cool with the fact that Luke is going to be our only biological child (as of right now, knowing that God is in charge of everything).  He still says that he’d be fine with having one more together if I changed my mind, but he has promised me over and over (mostly because it took a while for me to realize he was really okay with it and not just telling me what I wanted to hear) that he still loves me and doesn’t feel like I’ve let him down.  He is passionate and excited about adoption as well, and I thank God for giving me a husband who feels so strongly about this, too. 

We both want more children, however they need to get to us, and we both agree that it is much healthier for me to be a whole and healthy (adoptive) mommy for our next baby than for me to be a (birth) mommy who feels so sad and broken inside.

So that was another reason why it was so stressful to be living with my parents all these months.  We know very little about the adoption process, but we do know that you usually start out with a home study.  Well…….the no home thing was kinda killing us.  We felt stuck, not just because we weren’t a private family, but because we felt that we couldn't even begin to start the journey to our next child until we had a place to call our own. 

Well, tomorrow night that all changes.  We are going to our first adoption meeting!  We are meeting with a state social worker and there will be four other interested families there, along with a mother who has adopted 3 kids already who will be available to talk to for real-life experience. 

I am so excited, and so nervous!! I can’t believe we are finally taking the first step to bring our next baby home.  I know it might take a while, but I can’t tell you how excited I am to be on the road to being a family of FOUR.  :)  I have been devouring adoption blogs and living vicariously through lots of of other couples’ experiences.  If you are reading this and you’ve adopted, or read a great blog about adoption, I would LOVE for you to let me know in the comments so that I can check it out.  We are total newbies at this!

Before I finish this verrrrry long post (ya still awake in there?! lol), I just have to share three crazy cool things that God has done for us since moving here to let us know that we are on the right track. 

First, we searched for about a month after we moved here before finding our current church, which we LOVE.  Imagine how happy we were, when after attending for about 6 weeks, we realized that our pastor and his wife adopted both of their boys and are big advocates for adoption!  We’ve already asked them some questions and I know they are going to let us pick their brains as we get deeper and deeper in. 

Second,  we attend a young couples’ Bible study through our church with 3 other couples.  We have absolutely LOVED our time with the other people in our group and are so thankful for the friends they are to us.  When we first brought up the fact that we were interested in adoption, lo and behold, ALL THREE of the other couples told us that they are interested in adoption and it’s something they’ve all talked about! I totally teared up when I heard that news. :) 

Third, I’ve read a little about home studies to know that there are certain safety features that the social workers/agencies like you to have in your house before you can adopt.  Often, I’ve seen it required where you need to have a fire extinguisher near the stove.  (So classy, right? haha) Well, we had our inspection on the house last Saturday (which went perfectly, by the way – thank you God!), and we both noticed that there is already a fire extinguisher installed in the kitchen!  We both totally missed it the first time we walked through the house, and we were both so touched by the fact that it is already installed and ready to go in the house.  It seriously felt like a little gift from God – as if He was trying to say, “This is it, guys!  This is the house you’ll adopt your next baby and bring your child home to.”  I can’t describe how amazing it felt to see that ugly red thing on the wall! haha

{If you enlarge the picture below by clicking on it, you can just see the bottom of the fire extinguisher to the left of the stove.}

So anyway, what was supposed to be a short post ended up being super long, and I hope I didn’t bore you to death.  I’m just so excited!

Here we go! :)